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Over the past several years as a TKD instructor I have parents and students ask for guidance on how to deal with "bullies". I have answered as honestly as possible but not exactly what I believe parents want to hear. Below are my feelings on the matter as well as what some experts say. All kids sometime in their life will deal with "bullies" in some form. Either in pre-school or up thru high school. I can re-call many throughout my school days; I wasn't a martial artist at that time- I didn't have my own physiatrist nor did I take any medication. I was 2 years old in my Dad's arms, while keeping the police at bay when he blew his brains out all over me in an out side Johnny house. Now in my late 40's and a father, I have shown my son the proper use of firearms and how to shoot. I have also tried to tell him on how to deal with bullies as a parent and as the one being bullied. As a parent you don't want your child being picked on-getting in trouble while in school with teachers etc. Getting a 3~5 day vacation (suspension) can cost them several 0's in some classes and labled as a trouble maker. You also don't want to pay for medical bills from your child breaking another student's nose. So here is what I have told my son since he started school. You go school to learn! That's your job till you get out of high school and if you go to college. You don't go there to be some ones punching bag. You DON'T start fights...but finish it if one starts with you. This philosophy has cost him several times as in the form of detention. If he had received the vacation...that would be ok too. But he knows where he stands and fellow students better be prepared to deal with the consequences. If that is wrong, then I guess I am a bad parent. Yes, it is always smarter to walk away, but sometimes it may haunt you the rest of your school days. It maybe better to loose and walk away with a bloody nose and holding your head up than the alternative. I just thank God that our founding fathers and a few of nations Presidents didn't walk away! Wayne Spencer
Here are what some experts say about "bullies". Sports Parents magazine, September 1996
Dealing with Bullies and How not to be one!
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